As humans, we are action-oriented and tend to place emphasis on all that we are doing and accomplishing. There is nothing wrong with this of course, as it allows us to accomplish a great deal. However, when we are focused on the “do” as the starting point for all we can “have” and “be” in the world, it traps us in the belief that we must fix and solve and achieve to get results and be of value. This can lead to an endless cycle of never feeling like ENOUGH or fulfilled …
We get stuck in postponing happiness… When I…
“When I get a new job; I will be happy.”
When I meet the man of my dreams; then I will be happy
when I lose weight, Then I… will be happy
Sound familiar?
We are conditioned from a very young age that achievement equals happiness, approval, and recognition. And we can get fixated on what we need to have in order to feel a certain way.
But where do feelings come from?
The inside or the outside?
Feelings come from the inside.
It can seem like they come from the outside but they are actually generated by our thoughts.
I want to introduce you to the model be, do, have.
By first becoming clear about who and what we want to “be,” we are better able to consciously make choices (“do”) and produce outcomes (“have”) that are in alignment with our core selves.
This is the “Be-Do-Have Model,” an approach that achieves far greater results, and is ultimately easier and more satisfying.
BE
It’s about cultivating the state of mind and embodying who you are.
Who are you and what is important to you?
How do you want to feel?
Who do you want to be?
DO
When you make decisions from a positive state – you take better actions
What actions make you feel the way you want to feel?
So for example, if you want to feel happy, does complaining make you feel happy? If you want to feel confident, does exercising make you feel that way?
What can you DO to be the person you want to BE?
HAVE
When you take actions from a positive state – you are more likely to get your desired results.
What are the results and outcomes?
What does success look like to you?
Who do you want to be in 2018?